My Best Friend
Surprising that I can call you that, but for all intents and purposes, I have allowed you to be my best friend. You showed up when I was about 13 and gave me much security and sense of self, I was always in your favour; you made me strong in times of trouble.
You have been there through thick and thin, you have never willingly left me and even though I have tried 20 or so times to ditch you, you always return even more committed to our friendship.
You never feel rejected but you seem to enjoy the time separated, it seams to give you more strength and life to support and care for me, when I have ask you back.
This has been truly a love hate relationship. I cherish how you are so loving and comforting, and at the same time, I hate how you are so abusive to me. I have allowed you to make me feel so crappy about myself, you stink and you are always so controlling and you want my attention all the time. I use you as well; you get me out of difficult situations, you comfort me in times of trouble, you have always love to party and you are great at celebrating my victories. You have introduced me to new friends and you love to connect with other friends just like you.
You have been with me for more years than I wish to say. I have wished and prayed that you would just go away. I have been mean to you, thrown you out of the car, I have crushed you, burnt you, drowned you, buried you. And, not only that, I have still allowed you to slowly rob me of my health and have paid you well to do so. Over the years I have paid you approximately $73,547.50. Talk about an abusive relationship!
Most of you by now realize that my best friend goes by many names: Peter Jackson, Players, DuMaurier, Camel, Marlboro, Matinee. This has been my greatest struggle: finding the same type of security in the Trinity that I do in my best friend. When I started in ministry I thought I could say goodbye, as I just wouldn't be able to fund him as well as everything else I wanted to do. My first week beginning God Stories, someone in ministry, I was associated with said, with a chuckle and a sense of pride that I finally will submit to his value system. That you can’t do both: smoke and love God. I guess you will have to quit that smoking.
Well if any one knows me, I do like a challenge and my back went up and the stubbornness kicked in. I didn't look for wisdom or for true strength, I looked to my friend and he supported me in the decision to stay true to our relationship, that we would overcome that chuckle. Throughout the past eight years I found many supporters, and for the non-supporters either I just didn't need to associate with them or I would invariably work around "their" hang-ups.
Early on in ministry, I was with Chris Hawthorn (my friend in ministry). We were just exiting through the church doors late one evening, when we both heard this voice say “Trent Stop Smoking”. We looked at each other and said, “Did you hear that?” We both did. I wanted to know who said that so we both checked out the immediate area thoroughly, but to no avail. No one was found.
Over the years I have stopped smoking and really struggled with losing my best friend, as there was no one like him. God has given me many occasions to lay him down but I just couldn't do it. And as our church changed and I was walking through the toughest time of my life, I needed him all the more. I truly thought I would probably die with my best friend at my side.
Nine years to the day July 4, 2011 (eight years completed ministry) I resigned as Chairman / Treasurer of the board and I started a new journey. I sold off and gave away the contents of my office and my apartment and pursed an adventure, a God Story of my own. And what a ride it has been and continues to be. I have had so many Spirit-filled moments that I have had to resort to actually writing in a journal the main points, so I will be able to remember them all.
But back to my best friend and one of the main reasons I am here in Kelowna, BC. It is to peruse relationships, to receive, understand and give the gift of love. The week before I left, it seemed like every time I turned the TV on, there it would be, the movie Field Of Dreams playing (based on the book Shoeless Joe written by WP Kinsella). So Sunday morning, there it was again. I just had to watch it. The voice spoke "If you build it, he will come." Ray knew he had to build a baseball diamond in his Iowa cornfield. (Actor Kevin Kosner plays Ray Kinsella’s main character).
This movie touched me on so many levels. I have experienced much of the same while in ministry (God Stories / Church leadership); doing things that you know people will possibly not believe and may think of you as a little crazy, okay, a lot crazy. So watching this story really summed up for me, the message: Follow Him. I am in His hands. No evil plans, no scheme of man can take me from His love. Fast forward 6 weeks or so, I found myself really needing my best friend to rely on as life was changing rapidly. These past few weeks have been not so normal, and I like normal. It was a sunny Saturday morning while house sitting here in Kelowna.
I woke up with the warm sun beaming in, so I thought I would drag myself out of bed. I knew I needed some fresh air anyway and a good morning with my best friend. I went on to the white porch, lit up and drank in the fresh air and morning sun.
I hear this voice inside, "If you quit they will come." I didn't think much of it for a second. Then I saw, in my minds’ eye, the end of the movie Field of Dreams a steady stream of cars comes to the ball diamond. I thought to myself, ‘it sure sounds like "If you build it they will come"’. Okay, I kind of had a little freak out and then thought this sure sounds like an invitation to me. God is inviting me to quit smoking. Not demanding me, but rather inviting me and I would love to know who "they" are (side note WP Kinsella is the author of the book Shoeless Joe and lives in White Rock, where I am from. I did an interview with him 20 years ago when the movie was first released)
Here are the final words of the movie:
Audio version
Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) gives his famous speech
Print Version
“People will come, Ray.
They'll come to Iowa
for reasons they can't even fathom.
They'll turn up your driveway,
not knowing for sure why they're doing it
They'll arrive at your door
as innocent as children...
...longing for the past.
"Of course, we won't mind
if you look around," you'll say.
"It's only $ 20 per person."
They'll pass over the money
without even thinking about it.
For it is money they have
and peace they like.
Then they'll walk off to the bleachers...
...and sit in their shirtsleeves
on a perfect afternoon.
They'll find they have reserved seats
somewhere along one of the baselines...
...where they sat when they were children
and cheered their heroes...
...and they'll watch the game...
...and it will be as if they dipped
themselves in magic waters.
The memories will be so thick...
...they'll have to brush them away
from their faces.
People will come, Ray.” Wow, such fine dialogue. Reading this really makes me want more of Their peace for all there kids. I know I could not have made it this far if it wasn't for their LOVE me. It took me a good 7 days of on-again off-again smoking, hanging out with my friends in the Kettle River and getting ready (panic and every emotion going) to say goodbye to my best friend and realize who truly is my best friend. The evening of Aug 22 I had called a friend of mine Lorna Gilanders. We talked for a while and during that conversation I asked the Holy Spirit what story I should share with Lorna. He said the porch story, so I did. After I finished, Lorna said “I have a story for you,” and proceeded to tell me about how she was freed from her friend.
Lorna's Story
Being a Christian, I decided I had to stop smoking. No matter how hard and how long I tried I kept failing. When a prophetic guest speaker was coming to my church I asked God if I could get a word from Him about the smoking thing. The speaker was great, but no word from God. As I watched her leave the podium, as wave of disappointment began to fall over me. At the last moment she took a couple of steps backwards, tilted her head and leaned over toward the mic and as she did so she said: “oh by the way, someone here is struggling with smoking...God wants you to know that He has others things He wants to work on in your life, He’ll get to the issue of smoking in due time.” When He did, I instantly quit and had no withdrawals from the nicotine, menthol, and the physical motions of smoking. A few years after that deliverance, there was only one relapse that lasted a couple of months. During that time I felt convicted that by my own free will I was choosing not to appreciate the gift that God had given me. Thirteen years have since passed and whenever the struggles of life entices me to smoke I am reminded that I have the freedom to smoke if I want to. I am also reminded that if I do and later on want to stop again it would mean having to start over at “day one”. However, the most important thing for me is that I have no guarantee that I would once again be able to bypass the withdrawal process. I found out that it says in the bible that our bodies are temples and that we shouldn’t be putting junk into them (paraphrase my own). So I figure...why start
Tuesday August 23 was my first full day absent from him. Four days into it, I posted on Facebook: "4 Days smoke free", and could not believe the support I was receiving. Wow! It was overwhelming and so very cool; I was not alone in this journey. So on Sunday morning Aug 28 I awoke to my ipad notifying me that my friend Donelda posted to Facebook saying:
“YEAH! Good for you! Praying for you to go the distance!”
27 August at 23:32 · Like
It felt great! Then I read it again, "Go The Distance." I thought she was being funny and supportive as I told her a bit of this story. The words "Go The Distance," were spoken by "The Voice" in Field of Dreams. So I had to call her. She had just walked into church and was just pouring herself a cup of coffee before service. I asked if she knew that the line she gave me was from the movie that sparked this whole thing. In ‘Donelda’ fashion she said she had no idea, with a questioning answer, and said “that’s kind of funny”.
Well the next few days were very hard and I just wanted to smoke, I wanted my safety back, I wanted my control back, I wanted my best friend back, I felt very angry and lost. I could not even dream why to keep on going on this way, why am I doing this, for what reasons. Pam Deschamps asked me why I would not quit for myself if "My Friend was Killing Me." I now know, I loved what my best friend gave me, more, than I loved myself.
You see I have been brought here to trust Them, by Them I meanThe Trinity. I realize that this has been all an invitation of Their Amazing Grace in my life, proving to me once again we do have a choice and I am so glad I said yes, as I know there is so much more to come and "They will come".
Trent Reynolds
"Go The Distance"
You have been there through thick and thin, you have never willingly left me and even though I have tried 20 or so times to ditch you, you always return even more committed to our friendship.
You never feel rejected but you seem to enjoy the time separated, it seams to give you more strength and life to support and care for me, when I have ask you back.
This has been truly a love hate relationship. I cherish how you are so loving and comforting, and at the same time, I hate how you are so abusive to me. I have allowed you to make me feel so crappy about myself, you stink and you are always so controlling and you want my attention all the time. I use you as well; you get me out of difficult situations, you comfort me in times of trouble, you have always love to party and you are great at celebrating my victories. You have introduced me to new friends and you love to connect with other friends just like you.
You have been with me for more years than I wish to say. I have wished and prayed that you would just go away. I have been mean to you, thrown you out of the car, I have crushed you, burnt you, drowned you, buried you. And, not only that, I have still allowed you to slowly rob me of my health and have paid you well to do so. Over the years I have paid you approximately $73,547.50. Talk about an abusive relationship!
Most of you by now realize that my best friend goes by many names: Peter Jackson, Players, DuMaurier, Camel, Marlboro, Matinee. This has been my greatest struggle: finding the same type of security in the Trinity that I do in my best friend. When I started in ministry I thought I could say goodbye, as I just wouldn't be able to fund him as well as everything else I wanted to do. My first week beginning God Stories, someone in ministry, I was associated with said, with a chuckle and a sense of pride that I finally will submit to his value system. That you can’t do both: smoke and love God. I guess you will have to quit that smoking.
Well if any one knows me, I do like a challenge and my back went up and the stubbornness kicked in. I didn't look for wisdom or for true strength, I looked to my friend and he supported me in the decision to stay true to our relationship, that we would overcome that chuckle. Throughout the past eight years I found many supporters, and for the non-supporters either I just didn't need to associate with them or I would invariably work around "their" hang-ups.
Early on in ministry, I was with Chris Hawthorn (my friend in ministry). We were just exiting through the church doors late one evening, when we both heard this voice say “Trent Stop Smoking”. We looked at each other and said, “Did you hear that?” We both did. I wanted to know who said that so we both checked out the immediate area thoroughly, but to no avail. No one was found.
Over the years I have stopped smoking and really struggled with losing my best friend, as there was no one like him. God has given me many occasions to lay him down but I just couldn't do it. And as our church changed and I was walking through the toughest time of my life, I needed him all the more. I truly thought I would probably die with my best friend at my side.
Nine years to the day July 4, 2011 (eight years completed ministry) I resigned as Chairman / Treasurer of the board and I started a new journey. I sold off and gave away the contents of my office and my apartment and pursed an adventure, a God Story of my own. And what a ride it has been and continues to be. I have had so many Spirit-filled moments that I have had to resort to actually writing in a journal the main points, so I will be able to remember them all.
But back to my best friend and one of the main reasons I am here in Kelowna, BC. It is to peruse relationships, to receive, understand and give the gift of love. The week before I left, it seemed like every time I turned the TV on, there it would be, the movie Field Of Dreams playing (based on the book Shoeless Joe written by WP Kinsella). So Sunday morning, there it was again. I just had to watch it. The voice spoke "If you build it, he will come." Ray knew he had to build a baseball diamond in his Iowa cornfield. (Actor Kevin Kosner plays Ray Kinsella’s main character).
This movie touched me on so many levels. I have experienced much of the same while in ministry (God Stories / Church leadership); doing things that you know people will possibly not believe and may think of you as a little crazy, okay, a lot crazy. So watching this story really summed up for me, the message: Follow Him. I am in His hands. No evil plans, no scheme of man can take me from His love. Fast forward 6 weeks or so, I found myself really needing my best friend to rely on as life was changing rapidly. These past few weeks have been not so normal, and I like normal. It was a sunny Saturday morning while house sitting here in Kelowna.
I woke up with the warm sun beaming in, so I thought I would drag myself out of bed. I knew I needed some fresh air anyway and a good morning with my best friend. I went on to the white porch, lit up and drank in the fresh air and morning sun.
I hear this voice inside, "If you quit they will come." I didn't think much of it for a second. Then I saw, in my minds’ eye, the end of the movie Field of Dreams a steady stream of cars comes to the ball diamond. I thought to myself, ‘it sure sounds like "If you build it they will come"’. Okay, I kind of had a little freak out and then thought this sure sounds like an invitation to me. God is inviting me to quit smoking. Not demanding me, but rather inviting me and I would love to know who "they" are (side note WP Kinsella is the author of the book Shoeless Joe and lives in White Rock, where I am from. I did an interview with him 20 years ago when the movie was first released)
Here are the final words of the movie:
Audio version
Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) gives his famous speech
Print Version
“People will come, Ray.
They'll come to Iowa
for reasons they can't even fathom.
They'll turn up your driveway,
not knowing for sure why they're doing it
They'll arrive at your door
as innocent as children...
...longing for the past.
"Of course, we won't mind
if you look around," you'll say.
"It's only $ 20 per person."
They'll pass over the money
without even thinking about it.
For it is money they have
and peace they like.
Then they'll walk off to the bleachers...
...and sit in their shirtsleeves
on a perfect afternoon.
They'll find they have reserved seats
somewhere along one of the baselines...
...where they sat when they were children
and cheered their heroes...
...and they'll watch the game...
...and it will be as if they dipped
themselves in magic waters.
The memories will be so thick...
...they'll have to brush them away
from their faces.
People will come, Ray.” Wow, such fine dialogue. Reading this really makes me want more of Their peace for all there kids. I know I could not have made it this far if it wasn't for their LOVE me. It took me a good 7 days of on-again off-again smoking, hanging out with my friends in the Kettle River and getting ready (panic and every emotion going) to say goodbye to my best friend and realize who truly is my best friend. The evening of Aug 22 I had called a friend of mine Lorna Gilanders. We talked for a while and during that conversation I asked the Holy Spirit what story I should share with Lorna. He said the porch story, so I did. After I finished, Lorna said “I have a story for you,” and proceeded to tell me about how she was freed from her friend.
Lorna's Story
Being a Christian, I decided I had to stop smoking. No matter how hard and how long I tried I kept failing. When a prophetic guest speaker was coming to my church I asked God if I could get a word from Him about the smoking thing. The speaker was great, but no word from God. As I watched her leave the podium, as wave of disappointment began to fall over me. At the last moment she took a couple of steps backwards, tilted her head and leaned over toward the mic and as she did so she said: “oh by the way, someone here is struggling with smoking...God wants you to know that He has others things He wants to work on in your life, He’ll get to the issue of smoking in due time.” When He did, I instantly quit and had no withdrawals from the nicotine, menthol, and the physical motions of smoking. A few years after that deliverance, there was only one relapse that lasted a couple of months. During that time I felt convicted that by my own free will I was choosing not to appreciate the gift that God had given me. Thirteen years have since passed and whenever the struggles of life entices me to smoke I am reminded that I have the freedom to smoke if I want to. I am also reminded that if I do and later on want to stop again it would mean having to start over at “day one”. However, the most important thing for me is that I have no guarantee that I would once again be able to bypass the withdrawal process. I found out that it says in the bible that our bodies are temples and that we shouldn’t be putting junk into them (paraphrase my own). So I figure...why start
Tuesday August 23 was my first full day absent from him. Four days into it, I posted on Facebook: "4 Days smoke free", and could not believe the support I was receiving. Wow! It was overwhelming and so very cool; I was not alone in this journey. So on Sunday morning Aug 28 I awoke to my ipad notifying me that my friend Donelda posted to Facebook saying:
“YEAH! Good for you! Praying for you to go the distance!”
27 August at 23:32 · Like
It felt great! Then I read it again, "Go The Distance." I thought she was being funny and supportive as I told her a bit of this story. The words "Go The Distance," were spoken by "The Voice" in Field of Dreams. So I had to call her. She had just walked into church and was just pouring herself a cup of coffee before service. I asked if she knew that the line she gave me was from the movie that sparked this whole thing. In ‘Donelda’ fashion she said she had no idea, with a questioning answer, and said “that’s kind of funny”.
Well the next few days were very hard and I just wanted to smoke, I wanted my safety back, I wanted my control back, I wanted my best friend back, I felt very angry and lost. I could not even dream why to keep on going on this way, why am I doing this, for what reasons. Pam Deschamps asked me why I would not quit for myself if "My Friend was Killing Me." I now know, I loved what my best friend gave me, more, than I loved myself.
You see I have been brought here to trust Them, by Them I meanThe Trinity. I realize that this has been all an invitation of Their Amazing Grace in my life, proving to me once again we do have a choice and I am so glad I said yes, as I know there is so much more to come and "They will come".
Trent Reynolds
"Go The Distance"